When You Just Don’t Feel Like Doing Anything: A Mindful Biz Owner Reflection

I don’t feel good today.
Not in the way where I’m physically sick.
I just don’t want to do anything.

And I know it sounds wild, especially coming from me — the one trying to build a brand centered around mindfulness, self-care, and creating space for other people to not burn out. The one writing a dissertation on how Black women supervisors create belonging in the workplace. The one who’s literally trying to birth tools that help other people pause and be whole.

And yet here I am, wanting to sit in my dark room and just chill.
Not think.
Not create.
Not be productive.
Just... be.

Sometimes I feel like I’ve got 38 tabs open in my brain and none of them are loading.

And maybe it’s because I’ve poured so much of myself — emotionally and financially — into this. I’ve invested in the website. I’ve invested in the journal. I’ve invested in me. And now I’m like, “Okay, let’s launch and get this money back because baby, the bills are billing.”

It’s not just about impact.
It’s about trying to get out of debt.
It’s about freedom.
And that’s what’s keeping me grounded even when I feel like floating away.

But truthfully? I needed a break today.
So I told my supervisor I don’t feel good — because I didn’t know how else to say that I need space.
I need room to do nothing without guilt.
I need to not use my brain for anything that doesn’t feel like peace or payday.
And I needed to say that out loud, for myself.

There’s also this tension I feel around collaboration. My business partner and I talked today. We threw out ideas:

• Let’s launch the educator’s journal together.

• Let’s do the men’s version too.

• Let’s start doing presentations.

• Let’s get booked and busy.

• Let’s update the landing page and stack our ideas.

And while I love the vision, there’s a part of me that feels some type of way.
Because I started The Mindful Biz Owner alone. I paid for everything. I stayed up late dreaming.
I built this.
So when someone suggests adding themselves into what you built, there’s a tug. A pause.
Yes, collaboration could take us further. But am I ready to share this space I crafted alone?

I’m in this place where I’m trying to figure out how to move forward without losing myself.
Trying to grow without rushing.
Trying to rest without guilt.

This isn’t a blog with a five-step solution.
This is me being honest in the in-between.

If you’re here too — if your tabs are all open, if your heart is heavy, if you don’t feel like doing anything...
You’re not alone.
It’s okay to pause.
It’s okay to unplug.
It’s okay to say, “I just don’t feel good today,” and let that be enough.

Rest is part of the strategy.
Stillness is productive too.
And clarity always comes after the pause.

— The Mindful Biz Owner